“I just don’t feel like doing it right now.” I say that to myself a lot. Especially when it is something that I don’t find exciting, like putting together a report or updating a document. I envision a time in the future when I’ll be feeling it and will be motivated to get it done. So I wait. And wait until finally, a deadline approaches and now I’m anxious because I REALLY need to get it done. Then I’m able to quickly finish the task off. I often feel that I do my best work with a deadline approaching, but is that really true?

Often, it isn’t. I might miss a small detail, or it’s not as good as it could have been. Either way, I become anxious, or angry with myself, and that is beginning to take a toll on me. I can’t continue to live this way and have been working on how to be better at it.

In “Your Brain’s Not Broken,” they call this avoidance. It’s where I do something, anything, as long as it’s not that boring thing. And if I’m doing something, at least I’m being productive, even if it isn’t the thing that actually needs to get done

To determine if you’re in avoidance mode, they suggest asking a few questions. “Is there a due date? What will happen if I don’t complete this task? Have I scheduled a time to complete it?” If I’m fighting against these questions, then I’m in avoidance mode.

I’m still trying to figure out ways to get past that, the journey continues.